Here is what I know about having a loved-one with dementia. It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating. It’s heartbreaking and humbling.
My dad believes I’ve been tricked into going along with an evil plot to steal his independence and his money. I try to take comfort in the fact that he thinks I’m just stupid and easily manipulated – not deliberately deceitful and greedy – but somehow, that doesn’t make me feel any better.
On top of that, because Dad is still able to hold it together and appear “normal” for short periods of time, there are people (people who aren’t around him enough to see the full picture) who take his delusional rantings as fact, then busy themselves condemning me for imaginary “crimes.” Among other things, I’ve been accused of “keeping him locked up like an animal” – as if I wouldn’t have him out of the secured community in a heartbeat if it were reasonable and safe to do so!
As frustrating as it is, I’m glad these @#!%&* people don’t know what they’re talking about . . . It means they haven’t had to suffer through a similar situation. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I’m just so fed up with trying to explain and justify myself! Frankly, I could really use some encouragement right now.
Instead, I guess I have to accept that people’s ignorant judgment comes as part of this job. It’s not a job I want, but it’s one God has given me; so until He takes it away, I just have to do the best I can.
Promise to myself: For the rest of my life, when I don’t know all the facts about someone else’s situation, I will keep my mouth shut!